Merry Christmas, Bruce Banner
by ulyssesnorthcutt
Summary: Bruce Banner and Ulysses Northcutt spend Christmas together. Bruce BannerxOC oneshot OOC Bruce Banner


"Aw, come on, Brucie! Look at this part. Even The Other Guy couldn't keep his eyes off of Ulysses!" cried Tony, as he moved a video onto the computer screen.

Bruce peeked up at the screen, and blushed furiously as he watched his normal self looking at Ulysses with his jaw open as she walked past him in a lovely evening dress towards Fury.  
A few minutes went by, until a loud scream was heard. In a matter of moment, there was a matter of gunfire, people panicking, and, of course...the Avengers assembling once again.

~Bruce's POV IN THE VIDEO~  
_"Honestly, I don't think this was a good idea bringing me here...I mean if what Fury says is true, and the 'Sages' are going to show up, I might end up hurting some of, of t-these..."  
I trailed off as Ulysses, my and Tony's personal lab assistant/S.H.I.E.L.D agent touched my shoulder and gave me a warm smile, muttering, "Good evening, Dr. Banner..." before walking off towards Fury._

She looked absolutely gorgeous tonight...

I heard Tony whistling before I felt his hand close my jaw shut, as he said  
"You're going let in a couple flies in there if you keep checking Ulysses out like that."

I blushed slightly and coughed a few times before glancing at Ulysses again when I heard a woman screaming.

I turned towards Tony, who had his idiotic grin on his stupid face, chugged the rest of his scotch before handing me the glass.

"Looks like the party finally started!" he cried with glee as he pressed a button on his watch.

In a matter of moments, Tony was suited up and ready for action. In the corner of my eye, I saw Natasha, Steve, Thor and Clint fighting off some of the Sages already.

I sighed, and was about to drink the rest of my drink when I was pushed backwards.

I stood up slowly and stiffly and looked at the guy in front of me.

His over-confident smirk, made me smile a bit.

He had no idea who he was dealing with.

I closed my eyes and allowed the transformation to happen.

~End of Bruce's POV in the video~

Bruce sighed heavily as he watched himself transform into the Other Guy. Soon enough, his 'Friend' eagerly went in the fight and fought along his comrades.

Bruce frowned when his 'Friend' suddenly had a large knife sticking in his arm but before the Hulk could swat the guy who stabbed his arm,

Ulysses came out of nowhere and managed to wrap her legs around the guy's neck and back-flipped, successfully, hurtling him to the ground headfirst.

Ulysses stood up and waved at the Hulk before glaring down at her dress.

Bruce then proceeded in choking on his coffee and doing a spit-take on Tony  
when suddenly ripped the ends of her dress, so that the dress itself ended at mid-thigh, exposing her thigh holsters.

Ulysses, looking satisfied with the less-restricting dress, nodded at the Hulk with a smile before grabbing her guns and ran towards her next victim.

The Hulk stood there with his jaw open, as he watched her ran off. The Hulk snapped out of it once the unconscious man started to stir.

With an angry grunt, he kicked the man into the wall, once again, making him pass out.  
_'End of Video'_

Bruce ignored the complaints of Tony as he tried to focus on his work again.

"What the hell, bro!? This was a new suit! This is going to stain..." Tony cried as he wiped at his face with a handkerchief.

"Trust me, you look better that way." Bruce snapped as he pushed his glasses more securely on his nose before writing furiously in his notes.

"Ha Ha. Very funny. But, come on. Even the Other Guy has a thing for Ulysses! Why don't you just go ask her out or something?"  
Tony suggested as he walked around the lab. Bruce glanced up again, but looked down sadly, replying,

"I'm not really that great at relationships anyway. And, I don't think Ulysses wants to go out with someone who deals with his anger issues by becoming some giant green monster."

Tony shrugged, and asked with a raised eyebrow,

"Well, maybe Ulysses has a thing for guys like you. That...or she has a thing for a genius, billionaire, playboy, or philanthropist.  
Make your move, big guy, or else, you'll be listening to Ulysses, screaming my name tonight...ALL. NIGHT. LONG *puts on a perverted face*"

Bruce let out an angry growl before walking out of the laboratory.

Tony waited for a few moments, before leaning slightly, taking a peek in the doorway.  
He pulled out his phone and called Natasha.

"Banner is coming. I repeat. Lover boy is coming to town."

The scientist walked slowly up the stairs, taking in deep breaths, calming himself down.  
"Stupid Stark...I can't believe him. Is he trying to get himself killed?

Bruce walked down the hallway, thinking about the video...and eventually his thoughts strayed to you.  
_'Maybe that douche-bag, Stark has a point there...it couldn't hurt but say something to her...but then again...maybe not'_

Bruce sighed for the umpteenth time today, when Natasha said,  
"It sounds like you need a break."

Bruce flinched in surprise, gave a small frown at her asking,  
"How do you do that? And yeah. I desperately need one."

Natasha's mouth lifted slightly as she said, "Well, why don't you just go over to the kitchen? There's a fresh pot of coffee with your name on it."

Bruce looked at her hesitantly, when Natasha flashed him a full-blown smile as she turned the corner and walked off.

Bruce nodded slowly and walked off towards the kitchen.

You hummed along to the song and twirled around the kitchen as you grabbed the cinnamon before twirling back to your mug.  
"I've just one wish...On this Christmas Eve...I wish I were with you..." you sang under your breath.  
You smiled in approval as you placed the kettle pot onto the stove.

"JARVIS...you've got any other Christmas tunes?" you asked politely.

JARVIS' voice replied just as politely,  
"Of course, Miss (name)...any requests?"

You laughed and thought for a moment.  
"Surprise me."

******************************************************************************************  
**(A/N: About the lyrics. YOUR PART IS ON THE LEFT...WHILE BRUCE'S PART IS ON THE RIGHT.)**  
Bruce was deep in thought when he overheard music that sounded like jazz coming from the kitchen.  
Bruce smiled slightly and was curious on who was in the kitchen.  
_'...I didn't know Cap liked this song...'_

Bruce's thoughts trailed off when he heard your voice.

_I really can't stay...  
Baby it's cold outside  
I've got to go away...  
Baby it's cold outside_

Bruce peeked in the kitchen and caught a glance of you, swaying to music.  
He placed his back to the wall, and listened to you.

_This evening has been...  
Been hoping that you'd drop in  
So very nice  
I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice_

Bruce walked over and leaned against the frame of the doorway of the kitchen, watching you silently, as you continued to entranced him with the sound of your voice.

_My mother will start to worry  
Beautiful, what's your hurry?  
Father will be pacing the floor  
Listen to the fireplace roar  
So really I'd better scurry  
Beautiful, please don't hurry  
Maybe just a half a drink more  
Put some records on while I pour_

Bruce surprised himself when he started to sing along softly. You didn't hear anything as you grabbed a Swiss Miss cocoa powder mix as you continue to sing out loud.

_The neighbors might think  
Baby, it's bad out there  
Say, what's in this drink?  
No cabs to be had out there  
I wish I knew how  
Your eyes are like starlight now  
To break this spell  
I'll take your hat,  
your hair looks swell _

Bruce felt his heart beat faster when your voice harmonized with his own, however, he wasn't worried about the Other Guy at the moment.  
He knew that his 'Friend' was more than happy to stay inside and watch this unfold.

_I ought to say no, no, no  
Mind if I move in closer?_

You turned around sharply when you heard a new voice singing along. You saw Bruce with a huge grin walking towards you. You smiled and played along.

_At least I'm gonna say that I tried  
What's the sense in hurting my pride?  
I really can't stay  
Baby don't hold out_

Baby, but it's cold outside

The two of you grinned at each other. Bruce winked at you playfully before extending his hand towards you. You laughed before taking it with your own hand.  
Bruce pulled you closer to him and danced around the kitchen. You were very impressed as the two of you danced away, and you were hoping to get to dance with the scientist at the dance but, to your annoyance, the Sages had to ruin everything. (Not that you were complaining, your job as a S.H.E.I.L.D. agent added some spice into your life.) He twirled at the all the right times during the interlude, before you walked away from with a sly grin.

_I simply must go  
But baby, it's cold outside  
The answer is no  
But baby, it's cold outside_

At this point, you were playing hard to get, as you looked away from Bruce and pretended to be busy as you removed the kettle from the stove.

_Your welcome has been  
How lucky that you dropped in  
Nice and warm  
Look out the window at that storm_

You walked past him, but felt Bruce grab your waist and pulled you closer to him once more as he dipped you. Bringing you back up, his hand held yours tightly as his other hand rested on your waist and as your rested on his shoulder.

_My sister will be suspicious.  
Gosh, your lips look delicious..._*Bruce blushes slightly*

My brother will be there at the door

Waves upon the tropical shore

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious

Gosh, your lips are delicious

Well, maybe a cigarette more...

*you added a "yuck" sound after this, which made Bruce chuckle slightly*

_ Never such a blizzard before._

Bruce smiled shyly at you as he looked into your _e/c_ eyes, but nonetheless, the two of you continued to sing along this Christmas song.

_I've got to get home_

Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there  
Say, lend me your comb

It's up to your knees out there  
You've really been grand

Thrill when you touch my hand

*Absentmindedly, your thumb started to make small circles on his hand, sending an electrifying sensation up and down his spine

Why don't you see

*You started to wonder why Bruce couldn't see how wonderful he is...and if he could see you more than as a friend*

_How can you do this thing to me?_*Bruce started to wondered how he always felt at ease around you...how you make his heart jump around but without bringing out the Other Guy.*

_There's bound to be talk tomorrow_

Think of my life long sorrow

At least there will be plenty implied

If you caught pneumonia and died  
I really can't stay

Get over that cold out

Baby, it's cold...

Baby, it's cold outside.

The song ended a few moments after, leaving the two of you in each others' arms. Both of you stared at each other for a minute or two before you smiled warmly at him and removed yourself from him.

"I didn't know you could sing or dance, Bruce."

you joked as you continued to make your hot chocolate.

Bruce smiled a bit as he hid his increasing blush by looking down at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah, I didn't know either."

You laughed and grabbed the cinnamon spice along with whipped cream and created a masterpiece. You grinned at the now-finished drink with a sense of accomplishment.

Bruce sat down at the breakfast bar, and started to think of a way to show his feelings for you.

You peeked at him, and silently chuckled at his thinking face as he rubbed at his chin while staring off into space. You grabbed a second mug and decided to make Bruce a cup of his favorite tea.

A few minutes later you placed a mug of chamomile tea in front of him. Bruce looked down in surprise and nodded his thanks.

Silence settled between the two of you as you sat down beside him.

"...(Name)..."

"Hmm..." you hummed.

"...Would you like to have a drink with me sometime...?"

Bruce stared straight ahead with a stern face, waiting for your answer.

Unfortunately, instead of an actual answer, he heard a giggle.

Bruce glanced at you and saw that you were hiding a smile behind your hand.

"W-What...? Did I say something wrong...?"

You shook your head as you replied, "No, Bruce...I can't."

Bruce's face felled, but understood.

"...because I'm already having a drink with you right now."

Bruce facepalmed but had a small smile before saying,

"You've been hanging out with Stark too much." He winked at you and then looked up, scratching at his neck.

You shrugged as you looked at your drink. You turned your head to something else when Bruce's lips connected with your own.

You pulled away quickly, shocked, and a blush that could have melt the snow outside and chased winter away.

Bruce had a blush that matched your own as he profusely apologized.

"I didn't mean for that to happen, I mean I was going to kiss you, but on the cheek, but then you turned, and I didn't plan this, there was mistl-"

You gave a kiss on the cheek in return, cutting him off and surprising him.

"That's okay, Bruce. I didn't mind. Not at all."

Bruce stared at you a bit before wrapping one of his hands around your neck and brought your face closer to his, muttering a "You missed." before giving you a rough yet passionate kiss.

Separating, you saw green tints in his chocolate brown eyes, but you had a goofy grin on your face anyway.

"I love you, (Name.)"

"Love you too, Brucie."


End file.
